When my circle got smaller, it also got stronger.

It’s nice to have friends you can party with, but can you pray with them too?

Please note: I despise the term “friends” I’ve come to realize those bonds are easily broken.

I’ve also come to grips with the fact I handle every connection like a relationship. I don’t do well with mediocre “connections”


While TLC “What about your friends” plays in the background giving me motivation to write about this as freely as possible.


I remember my teen club hopping years, you couldn’t tell me I didn’t/couldn’t keep a crowd. Always in the midst of the “life’s of the parties”, in the middle of “the turn up”… but as you get older you realize that the same people you’re spending your time turning up with, are no where to be found when its time to calm down, sit down, and sit back – and in the moments when you may need a friend the most, those same people are no where to be found.

I’d Rather Have 5 Lions Than a Million Sheep.

I remember having “friends” that would always call on me whenever it was beneficial for them (down to not only opening my wallet but my home too) because I was always the “willing one” – the helper, the one that people knew would go above and beyond – not realizing that – I was judging the foundation of these “friendships” on the length of time I’ve known these people opposed to the quality of the foundation of our “friendships”.

There’s Power in Positive Friendships.

I think it’s important when we go through life transitions and we began to flourish or grow in ways that lead us to find ourselves, we are often led away from people whom we thought would be in our lives and grow with us in the same way. Lessons I am Learning: Everyone won’t grow with you & Everyone won’t appreciate your growth. It wasn’t until I realize that time means nothing, what you do for people and how you love (for some) means nothing. I recall situations where I’ve opened my home to people, fed people, clothed people (all wanting nothing in return) but loyalty and love – because, well, that’s what friendships are about right… I was proven wrong plenty of times.

Give me sisterships, brotherhoods and bonds before anything.

1. Consistency

2. Safe space

3. Openness

4. Transparency

I started to change my verbiage which ultimately helped me realize where I needed to place people, because for me with any relationship I am building (and friendships ultimately should be ran as relationships minus the physical/sexual intimacy).  I think I started manifesting the kind of “friends” (brothers and sisters) I needed when I started taking control of the way I love on people and recognizing who are deserving of a seat at the table in my life, because not everyone deserves to eat and some will always and forever show up empty handed but desire their plate to be filled. I stopped having friends and manifesting family (brothers and sisters) who share the same light and likeminded energy & trust me once you know what you need from the people in your life whom you consider friends, the ones who don’t deserve you will begin to expose themselves, but will be replaced with so much more.

xo – Irene

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