Black men are NOT immune to emotions, fear, pain, trauma, anger or abuse. Black men cry when they are alone, they worry, they desperately want to reach out for help but – appearing strong – is far more important than the desire to heal.
“Be A Man”
“What are you crying for”
And my absolutely
“favorite” … “MAN UP”
These are statements that are instilled in the minds and hearts of black men from small ages, where instead of allowing young black boys to learn their emotions, grow in their emotions, have control and learn control and restraint, allow their emotions to be felt – they are often silenced and made to feel like expressing emotions in a way that society deems as weak, really is.
Breaking generational curses with black men pertaining to their mental and emotional health
Allow black men the space to feel vulnerable without labeling them as weak
Allow black men the space to say how they feel without being judged or called out
Give them space to cry if that is what they need to do in that moment
Let young boys be boys, I never understood when a young boy cries why they are immediately told you toughen up but young girls are coddled – young black boys need the same affection, attention, understanding and dote – if not more.
I realized how much anger stems from concealing emotions in our black men, I often wonder what that confusion feels like for them, and how heavy the energy within them must feel, not being able to cry if they want to cry, instead all the emotions they wish they can express without judgement or ridicule essentially turns into anger and resentment.
I think we’ve gotten so far in believing that black men are these strong warriors – that we forget EVERY SUPERHERO at some point – with all the fight in the world in them, are powerless sometimes.
I asked some brothers opinion(s) on societies idea of vulnerability in black men
These were their response(s):
“I feel it’s not appreciated or taken seriously because men look at being vulnerable and equate it to being weak or they don’t want to be judged. I love being vulnerable I love being able to be relatable. Let’s be real we aren’t robots. It’s actually kinda toxic but let‘s leave that for another article” – From the mouth of a Black Man
“Because from youth we are told to be strong, to be brave, and to not show any form of vulnerability. It has always been told to us “Oh DON’T show any weak side to your personality. When we show that side it’s often perceived wrongly. We are more scolded over it rather than it being taken in. It’s mostly viewed in a negative way so black men find it tough to do so. We already have so much expected from us because one we are black and another being that we’re made. So it’s like “Oh no my brother. That’s not ok”, which ultimately makes most black males become “standoffish”. Why do you think now it’s being pushed that black males go to therapy but a lot refuse cause they don’t want to seem weak which ultimately leads to them having poor mental health and struggling in not only romantic relationships But also in personal ones” – From the mouth of a black man
I think it’s important to also acknowledge HOW generational curses become a cycle opposed to an experience. How emotional instability becomes a “trend” of toughness and something that is EXPECTED from black men.
Allow Black men the space to feel like their feelings are heard and valued.
That they are supported and acknowledged.
You ARE supported, appreciated & acknowledged.